What defines a costume?

I know it's a beautiful day and I should be outside, but we're moving Thursday so DH is doing repairs to ready the Streetsville house for sale and I'm going through clothing I brought back from a storage unit.

A costume is defined as a set of clothes in a style typical of a particular country or historical period.  I spoke previously of opening my four year old storage unit and how I re-connected with my grandmother's flapper dress.  Today the culling of my closets chronicles my life from age 20 to present. 

Madame X www.metmuseum.org

1979, a white denim Levi snap button shirt from when I managed Thrifty's in Calgary at 20. I was single and had the hottest job in retail.
1984, a black linen Lida Baday dress, one of my first "Toronto" purchases after moving here at 24. Regrettably I donated the jacket.
1985, a chartreuse coloured men's silk shirt given to me by the President of Bretton's after my public relations launch of their Manulife Centre department store at 25. It was my first solo event.
A 1950's periwinkle blue strapless tulle dress that I bought at Courage My Love in Kensington Market at age 26.  Scratchy but trés cool.
1990, a plum stretch velvet sheath dress from Mexx worn to a company Christmas party after we sold our first major investment at thirty years of age.  I took my shoes off to dance, but then I was the bosses wife.
1991, a cream Ie [pronounced ee-ah] given to me by an acquaintance after we brought our second child home from Romania. I was 32.  These peasant blouses trended in 2011 after YSL featured them in his Spring show, so I totally missed that one.
1999, a long black textile by Fiona Beckett for Tooke dress purchased to wear to my 40th birthday dinner in Mildred Pierce's private room. I have a thing for textured clothing perhaps because I'm a Virgo.
2000, a long black BCBG Max Azria satin wrap dress worn to a YPO event with great success [it's a long story] and reminds me of Sargent's Madame X. Scandalously gorgeous.
2002, a black Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress bought for my mother's funeral, but abandoned when we held a casual outdoor service.  This was also the year I was divorced after 22 years of marriage.

What's interesting is how many long gowns I've worn in my life, relics now of my life as a former corporate wife from 1981 to 2002.  Since then I've since seen three children graduate from high school, hiked Scotland, graduated from York University as an Anthropologist, become a stepmom, designed and built an Arts & Crafts home, become a grandparent and opened a Mississauga costume store called Fee Fi Fo Fun.  I've also shacked up with a gorgeous tradesman who sails, bikes, camps and hikes. I remain the same, but my costumes have changed.

The gowns still fit, are still beautiful and ... are now totally useless.  I kept them anyway.

Emma and Nathalie - Inspiring Clients

Source: Pride, Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

Perchance we were to have the pleasure of the company of Emma and Nathalie.  First bonding with my one and only apprentice, Kerri Robertson, and then winding their way into both our minds and hearts.

Does this sound like the female relations of sisters in Pride, Prejudice and Zombies [the book I am currently reading]?

Of the clients we hoped to attract, one genre is alternative-style teens.  I can't articulate what that means exactly, except that as a teen I felt like one.  Not the beauty, or the jock, nor the science major ... just thoughtful and curious and exploring.  Not only hair and clothing, but religion, art, music and food - that was me.

I still haven't settled on what defines me.  What I appreciate is the opportunity to be eclectic and the opportunity to keep exploring.

Kerri, my apprentice, is in her early 30's and happily alternative.  A little bit of rockabilly, a lot of goth and a tiny pinch of punk.  Stripes, skulls and Tim Burton movies are among her passions.

When we were building our inventory before we opened Fee Fi Fo Fun in 2011, Kerri spent serious time going through catalogues from Kreepsville666, Manic Panic and Living Dead Souls to find stuff that she could buy from me at cost (perks of working in retail) and to offer to the very cool teens, so much like as we had once been and that we feel a kinship with.

Enter Emma and Nathalie.  Teens that don't fit the status quo, but are kind, imaginative and compelling.  The kind of women who could rule the world and who, as a mother, I fear have the most to lose in a homogenous society.

Pink.  Green.  Lavender.  Red ...  is the colour of their hair from week to week, in stark contrast to their sober forest green school uniforms.

Together Kerri and I encourage these bright little birds with eyeball necklaces, Manic Panic hair dye and birdcage skirts.  The home-made costumes made by these young women is staggering and beautiful and a wonderful addendum to the ready made accessories and props we offer.

Every week they drop by to share, play and sometimes buy ... and we adore them for their creative power and their bravery to be different and silly.

If you have a chance to visit Animé North or Fan Expo, just still yourself and watch and you will be as astounded as we are with today's alternative-style "youth".

Window Displays and Free Comic Book Day - May 5th

One of the most creative things I do at our Mississauga costume store is dream about and then create outrageous window displays combining products we sell with ideas we love.

I mean the royal we because my apprentice, Kerri Robertson, and I are a perfect match when it comes to creative.   I pick the product or theme and dream long and often about the essence of a window.  I pull out the products and pitch in the materials to make it happen.  Then Kerri and I put it into a pot to see what each of us can lend.  Magic happens! Okay and it's really really fun.

I picked Spring Rain with Stephen Joseph rain ponchos and umbrellas and added tropical blue plastic table drapes.  We dressed Jack and Jill, but before I knew it Kerri had made puddles and hung large rain drops from fishing line.  Simple and effective and too much fun!

Free Comic Book Day is a single day - the first Saturday in May each year - when participating comic book shops across North America and around the world give away comic books absolutely FREE to anyone who comes into their stores.

We love our friendly neighbourhood comic book store, Altered States, in own 'hood of historic Clarkson Village.

This week we are dressing their window in true Super Hero fashion to remind families of Oakville, Port Credit, Park Royal and Clarkson Village that Altered States is participating in Free Comic Day.

The window will be up by Tuesday afternoon and I don't know what we're planning until it happens!  Please drop in to Altered States, Saturday, May 5th - pick up your free comic book and say hi to brothers Dave and Doug.

Altered States, 1701 Lakeshore Road W., just down the street from our store, Fee Fi Fo Fun, where we'll be hosting the Mississauga Football League Registration.

Mississauga Football League Registration

What do Elmo,  Spider-Man,  Darth Vader and Strawberry Shortcake have in common with the Argos?  They are among the fabulous prizes you can win in the raffle at Fee Fi Fo Fun on Saturday, May 5, 2012.

Fee Fi Fo Fun is hosting an in-store Q&A and Registration event with the Mississauga Football League Saturday, May 5th from 2:00 - 5:00 p.m.

For over 40 seasons MFL has guided Mississauga for boys and girls ages 7-17 in their Flag and Tackle Football programs.

Port Credit, Clarkson Village, Park Royal and Oakville families might be happy to learn that all MFL practices happen in our 'hood at place like Clarkson and Erindale Secondary Schools.  A great opportunity to get your kids out on their bike's as well as on the field!

When I asked MFL's Barb Booth Moore why parents should consider football, she said overwhelmingly that as a sport "there is a place for everyone on the team."  She explained that football requires no experience and plays to each child's strength.  If your kid doesn't like running they might make an awesome blocker.  Even if your daughter is smaller, she might offer the kind of fancy footwork required in a quarterback.

Doing research on football, I realized both football and hockey formed organized play in Canada around the 1860's, yet we tend to think of football as an American Sport.  Canadian Football, however, differs in key rules from American Football with the field being larger and having three not four downs.  This makes Canadian football rules more physically challenging and requires broader mental strategies to be employed by the players.



Flag Football is a great way to introduce your child to a new sport without having to make a big commitment.  Even then, Barb pointed out that if the child goes onto tackle [starting at age 9] parents don't have to invest in equipment as everything is provide by the League.

The Mississauga Football League is fully affiliated with the City of Mississauga Department of Recreations and Parks and continues to be one of the absolute best sports values around.

A qualified, practicing MFL coach will be in attendance during the May 5th Q&A to answer questions about the program - along with Barb who can address your concerns from a parent's point of view.

Along with the hot java we'll be serving up free, all attendees will be entered in our raffle for goodies like passes to a private indoor playground Fun Side, Argo tickets and a chance to pick a costume from Fee Fi Fo Fun.

Drop off your registration payment, register on the spot, or just kick the tires - ALL ATTENDEES CAN ENTER THE RAFFLE at Fee Fi Fo Fun, Mississauga Costume destination at 1842 Lakeshore Road W. [directly across from HomeSense].

For more detailed information please visit the MFL website.

Big Boxes v.s. Small Business - This time it's Personal !

Can you relate to the story of a father who went looking for a muscle-torso Spider-Man costume for his five year old's birthday.  He had to crush his little man's hopes when he couldn't find it. What about the March break family who wanted to pack pirate hats for their cruise, or the working mom frantic for eight black cowboys hats for her daughter's dance recital?

The Parents tried the big box store, but it was off season. They tried the shopping malls, but the teenaged staff could have cared less.  They tried on-line, but weren't sure about the sizing, the quality or the delivery time and pricing.  Even after a year, they can't seem to find me or other small local costume shops.

I've had many helpful people explain why I cannot be found.  Get listed in Directories.  Join the local business association.  Your sign is unreadable.  Offer to do crafts in libraries.  Offer birthday parties in your store.  You need to advertise here.  You need to social media there.  Offer delivery.  Open 7 days a week. You need to network with other business owners.  What about public relations?  Donate in the community.  Perhaps cross-promotions?  Have an engaging window display.  Better website optimization.

Was that all very boring and a blur to you.  Me too!

The truth is I've done all that in spades.  I wonder.  Maybe I shouldn't be in business at all.  Maybe this is not a product or service people want ... or maybe consumers just don't want to admit a truth.  It's easier to go to the Big Box, be disappointed and complain.

This is not just a line about how my life depends upon it.  In fact healthy communities filled with Social Services, Immigration, Economic Sustainability, Places of Faith, Retirement Homes, Schools, Charities, Entertainment, Public Green Spaces all depend on it.  If you don't have small businesses paying taxes in and for your own community, what happens to that community?

It's all about structure and whose controlling it.  The costume industry is controlled by a growing number of off-site manufacturers, large non-Canadian retailers, pop-up stores and on-line stores who who are here only for the Halloween season.  It's bad news not just for me, but for you and your kids.

It means, practically speaking, that products ordered in January 2012 arrive between August - October 2012, and if under-ordered can't be re-ordered until January 2013.  So if you can't find a Spider-Man costume this is why.  Only small to medium sized Canadian-owned bricks & mortar stores like Fee Fi Fo Fun carry their inventory year round for you to see, touch and buy.

I can see parents rushing from their cars right in front of my store into the bakery next door.  Their child is dragging his feet and pointing at us, but the parent does not look up.  Some months later the parent are astounded and somewhat ashamed that they missed us.  They really want to shop local and they really think our store is cool.

I understand stuff having raised three children and I am guilty of sometimes taking the easy way too, but for a moment orient yourself within your own communities.  Purvey your small local retailers and I promise three things.  1.  You will see the genuine article of positive growth within your community within five years.  2.  You can feel pride that you are buying what you want to buy, not what is dictated for you to buy.  3.  You will be a super-hero to your own family in your own community when you bring home that Spider-Man suit without having done much more than raising your eyes to main street level.

We are Fee Fi Fo Fun, offering helium balloons costumes in Mississauga in a friendly store with knowledgeable staff all-year-round.  We have wigs, moustaches, prosthetics, crazy hats, career wear, Medieval Times, Pirate, Princess, Goth Lolita, Faery, Super Hero, Steampunk, Canadian History, Venetian Masks, Ready Made costumes and great ideas ... Drop into our store in Clarkson Village or see our wares at www.feefifofun.ca

The 42 Year Old Graduate

The time is drawing near for students to take their next steps from Kindergarten I heard the screaming and whistling over the clapping and I didn't trip.  It was a surreal and beautiful moment walking across the stage, one of thousands of students in October 2002 graduating from York University.  I never thought I'd get there.

Now the 52 Year Old Graduate and still Learning

At 17, I had been a terrible student and had a fun, well paying job as a Manager of Thrifty's Jeans [the hottest ticket in 1977 in Calgary]. Why would I follow all my friends to University when they were all being herded into jobs as secretaries, social workers and nurses.  I shuddered [no offense] to think of myself in one of those jobs. After retail, I tried on jobs in the manufacturing and the typical oil and gas sectors, growing and learning all the while.

At 22, I married a high school friend [not sweetheart] and we moved from safe, white bread, boring old Cowtown to edgy, monied, diverse exciting Hogtown.  I wanted to make a change to my career and hand delivered a balloon-a-gram with my resume to Grey Advertising [the hottest place to work in 1981 in Toronto].  Everett Elting, the President, didn't have a position open, but he hired me anyway.

At 30, after an immense struggle to become a parent,  I made parenting and adoption advocacy my primary jobs and put my life as a mover-shaker and corporate wife in last place.

At 40, after 22 good years of marriage, I was ready for a change and I applied to York University and for a divorce.  In picking my discipline, the Registrar said, "Don't pick the discipline.  Circle the courses you loVe and it will pick you." Very good advice.  I entered school and over six years had the time of my life getting an Hons. BA in Anthropology.

The screaming and whistling came from my two dear friends Lynne Pirie and Nutan Brown and the clapping from my very embarrassed, but proud never-the-less, son who were there to see me cross.  It was the first time in a very long time that I had not been defined as a wife or as a mother and it felt awesome.  It never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to get distracted from yourself.

I've gone onto do wonderful, risky and creative things with my degree.  I feel privileged that I could go to University and highly recommend attending as a mature student.  It may be just thing you need to find yourself again.

Where are all the Dads?

Today I am tired of hearing online and IRL about how Dads get shortchanged about equity in their parenting and other domestic endeavours.  When we first moved in together, I asked Rick how he felt about gender vis-a-vis tasks in our relationship.  This was code for me worrying that I would get stuck with all the jobs no one wants.
He said, "Let's do what we're good at."  Makes sense right?  Along with all the parenting I did with our blended family, how did I get stuck then with all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, arranging family get togethers and paying the bills?  Of those, the only thing I like and the only thing I'm good at is cooking.

I tried the wait-it-out-to-see-who-caves, but the dishes piled up, he ate kippers right out of the can and Rogers On Demand threatened to close our account.  So not even the threat of losing access to his beloved NHL worked.  Okay, he still does his own laundry, but the point is ...

I have been wracking my brain about how to crack the guy code.  Not for my husband, I've given up on that, but engaging men as clients in my costume, toy and helium balloon store in Mississauga, Fee Fi Fo Fun.

I don't want to accept the typical stereotypes about Dads, but almost 100 per cent of Fee Fi Fo Fun's clients are moms.   If, in fact, we subscribe to the "Dads as equal partners", why for example is the barber shop right next door not the perfect place for me to troll for new customers.

Why do all marketing consultants direct my advertising and promotional dollars towards generating moms as clients.  Print ads that are bright and colourful.  A website with pictures of cute kids.  An engaging display window of pirates and princesses. A popup store at parenting shows which are clearly geared towards mommies and where real men only go kicking and screaming akin to bridal shows.

100 per cent of my FB and Pinterest followers are women.  Comments on my blog are from women.  Only one of my LinkedIn peers is a man.  About 10 per cent of my Twitter followers could be considered "men", but I don't know for sure whose generating their tweets.  Only 3-5 of these men could be considered quality followers i.e. whose RT of my tweets might resonate with my demographic.  After three months, compared to my female followers, not one man has engaged in any meaningful pull dialogue* with me E.g. responded to me from a social or a business perspective.

This leaves Goggle+, which is reported to be male dominated, but really how many hours should I spend on social media or other traditional advertising when I am the sole proprietor of a costume, toy and balloon store.

Clearly as a family store I can't use traditional and stereotypical images said to appeal to men like alcohol, explosives, fast cars or scantily clad females, nor like the Huggies ad do I believe portraying men as helpless and bumbling.  Having exhausted all possible options, should I just assign Dads as equitable partners as a myth or just give up on Dads as potential customers?

*Push Dialogue meaning they are looking for something from me.  Pull Dialogue meaning they are responding to what I want from them.